It Shouldn't Be Like This

Recently some of the women of my church started a new Bible study by Beth Moore about the book of Esther. We discuss what we read during the week and then watch a video segment of Beth speaking. Last Monday, Beth shared briefly about the great depression, specifically the effect that the stock market crash had on her grandmother. She describes her grandmother’s feeling of loss and anger and (what really stuck out to me) overall mind-set of, “It shouldn’t be like this."

You can’t help but hear people talking about our current economic situation – unemployment rates, foreclosures, etc – so many, even within our own community, are hurting in these ways. Beth explains that loss can leave us with a feeling of entitlement, which again leads to that mindset of ,“It shouldn’t be like this." Last September my husband and I had four jobs between us and had just purchased our first home. A couple weeks later I became sick with pneumonia resulting in a two-month hospital stay. I have since been laid off from both of my jobs due to the economy. My husband had to change from two jobs with unpredictable hours to one with set hours in order to support our family. Do not misunderstand – we are still in a much better situation than many others, and MUST remember to be thankful. However, I still struggle with our significant (and what seems so sudden) change in financial stability; the metaphorical rug that was pulled out from underneath our fragile expectations. And as the bills come in and I sort through questions about my ability to return to work and decisions about government assistance and hope that my husband will return to school and so on... I sometimes look at my life and say “It shouldn’t be like this.” “We were being so careful.” “We were working so hard.” “We had so many plans.”

I am not alone in these feelings, but I try not to entertain them for too long. Maybe it shouldn’t be like this, but it is. Obviously I never had ownership of my destiny; so if “It shouldn’t be like this” then God, show me how it should be! I will hope in the future that God has in store for us. He has promised that he will give me all I need, and the truth is I am finding more and more that I do not need very much. The Bible calls us to mourn with those who mourn – and people are definitely experiencing loss. So comfort each other. But we can also re-examine our expectations and compare them with God’s promises (which I am disappointed do not necessarily include the LCD screen TV I was admiring over the weekend). This is a scary time, but it can also be an exciting time. It is how it is – so now what? Thanks to God that we have a community where we can live out the answer to that question together and do not have to be alone.