Saturday, January 31, 2009

A Birthday Blogging Break

I just wanted to let everyone know I'm taking a little break from blogging. I didn't continue my story yesterday and I probably won't today either. But I promise I will resume tomorrow!

For those of you who don't know, today is my 26th birthday. When I was born my parents were told that I would probably not live long - a day, a week, a month, a year, etc. Then in the summer of my 8th grade year I was reading a letter that my best friend at the time, Tarah, had written to a boy we met off the internet. She told him she was worried because she had heard a friend of hers would only live to be 20. I was concerned, because all of her friends were my friends as well, so I asked her "Who?!" She replied sadly, "You." I guess her mother and my mother had been talking, and that's what she told her.

My 20th birthday of doom was burned into my brain. I asked Dr. Fox and he didn't exactly confirm or deny this exact year, but just reminded me that I am a delicate case and that the reason we moniter my health so closely is to hopefully prolong my life as long as possible. I asked him how I would die. I mean, how does someone with my disorder suddenly die at 20? He said I probably would someday get pneumonia and just wouldn't recover. Scared, I asked him if he thought I could ever have children. Surprisingly, people ask me this question a lot. His initial response was to remind me of how extremly winded I get just walking up a flight of stairs. He was honest with me and said that I may be able to have one child - and even that would be extremly risky. I would have to bed on bed rest a majority of the time and definitely have a C-Section.

I look back at my life immediately following this information. High School is confusing enough of a time without all this looming over your head. I mean, how do you plan for the future when you don't think you're going to have one?

Since my 20th birthday I have felt like I am living on borrowed time. And every year feels like a huge acheivement. Some people hate their birthdays, but my birthday is always a celebration of God's love and mercy. I am here. I have a family who loves me. I have more friends than I can count. I have a wonderful husband. I have a beauitful new house. My health is questionable, I did have a huge scare last year and spent another two months in the hospital. I may not like having a tube in my throat. The economy is definitely putting a strain on our finances (like everyone else) on top of tons of new medical bills.

But I'm here. And I'm 26!

And as long as I'm here I know God has something he wants me to do for him.

Some things I have been thinking about this morning:

Be thankful for every moment of every day, even the "bad ones"
Always tell people you love them
Don't be afraid to reach out to people, even if you haven't spoken to them in a long time
Know that ANYONE can change if they are willing - God is awesome like that
Say you're sorry when you are wrong, and don't worry about whether someone accepts it or not
Stop worrying about changing others - change yourself

And enjoy your birthday every year, because you were born for a reason and remain on this earth for a reason as well!

Thank you for reading about my life.

"When we trust our lives to the unseen but ever-present God, He will write our lives into His story and every last one of them will turn out to be a great read. With a grand ending" - Beth Moore

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday. Sorry this is late, I just found your blog.

Congratulations on surviving, thriving, and thank you for sharing your journey in your Doom Ship