Friday, December 26, 2008

Adjusting and Christmas Presents

Well it has been over a week now since I returned home from the hospital. My first few days were terrifying… I was full of anxiety, constantly on edge. It was just too different from the environment in which I had spent the last two months. Not that I enjoyed being in the hospital – I definitely wanted to come home. But the only way I can explain it is that it was just too quiet here. I was used to a buzzing of nurses and other staff working outside of my door 24 hours a day. I became very independent my last few weeks, so I didn’t have a nurse in my room often, but still I could hear people coming and going, x-ray technicians entering and exiting at all hours of the night, doctors and other staff members making their rounds, etc.
I also realized after a couple of days that I had gone from taking two types of medication for anxiety several times a day plus a sleeping pill at night to virtually no chemical assistance. I was just sent home with all my new equipment and quiet rooms and dark nights. No wonder I was freaking out for a while there. So now I have narrowed it down to taking a little medication in the morning to help me start my day and a little at night to help me sleep – a lot less than what I was taking before but at least I’m not trying to go cold turkey chemically. That was messing with my body for sure!
My writing pursuit was put on hold during this adjustment period, but I decided it best to at least study if I’m not writing, so I’m reading my Bible every day. That is something I was worried I would stop doing once I returned to “normal life” but I am happy that I am starting my day with God’s word.
But the good news is that writing is going to be much easier now with this awesome gift from my husband! He bought me the most beautiful laptop for Christmas. I cried. I can’t believe what an amazing laptop this is, and it’s hard to believe I deserve this gift. But I know it’s going to help me in so many ways. My writing… my photography… it’s going to be great. My husband new exactly what to get me… I love him so much.
Well, I’m going to go for now. But there will be more to come. Stay tuned.

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